Why is it that
I am taking this out on myself?
I didn’t ask
Or want to know what happened.
It wasn’t my fault.
I know that, but he keeps saying that it was.
Why do I hurt
So much
Over things out of my control?
Almost like, I blame myself.
I wanted space and to be left alone,
He took so much innocence away.
I hate my body, my mind.
I feel like I did wrong, when I tried to stop it all.
I can’t scrub it away.
Trust me I tried.
The pain I have carried
Because I was afraid.
Afraid of the worst I know he could do. Keep myself
Safe and protected,
Nothing else to do.
Can’t cut deep enough to remove
The skin that has been touched.
Only
Two ways out.
People say one is the “Cowards Way”.
How do they know?
Have they walked in my shoes?
Know the emotional journey I have been through?
So easy to judge with out knowledge.
The other is to continue my punishment for existing.
Even though I didn’t want it, ask for it.
All I can so is pray one day my mind
Is set free from the pain.
Without taking me with it.
Taken Innocences, A Poem by ANS